We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together, all the time.
She’s the one we call when there’s a crisis. The calm in the storm. The “I don’t know how you do it” friend. She always knows what to say, what to do, and how to make it right.
Her level head and ability to problem-solve when the stakes are high? Unmatched.
But here’s the plot twist:
That woman… is you.
You’re the one people lean on. The one who holds it down, holds it together, and rarely lets it show when it’s all too much. You’re the go-to girl who’s been silently asking, but who do I go to?
Being good at everything has its benefits:
You can jump into most rooms and add value.
You’re dependable. Adaptable. A walking solution.
But it can also be a burden:
You’re often chosen for what you can do, not for who you are.
People stop checking on you because you always “seem fine.”
Your own needs slip through the cracks while you’re saving everyone else.
High-Functioning… But Hollowed Out
When you’re good at everything, you get used to being needed. You are rewarded for your efficiency, praised for your composure, and admired for your ability to think on your feet.
But inside?
You might feel more like a utility than a person. More like a resource than a soul. More like someone who’s expected to save everyone but herself.
This isn’t just stress. It’s over-identification with capability—and it’s exhausting.
What the World Sees vs. What You Feel
The world sees a woman who makes it look easy. But they don’t see:
The resentment simmering under the surface
The dreams that were delayed because someone needed you (again)
The identity crisis that bubbles up when you’re not being productive
You start to wonder:
Who am I if I’m not solving a problem?
Who supports me the way I support everyone else?
The Hidden Cost
The real weight of being “that woman” isn’t just the physical tiredness. It’s the emotional erosion that comes from being needed but not truly nurtured. You become a master of juggling it all, but you forget how to rest in your own humanity.
When people say “check on your strong friends,” you feel that deeply. Because you are that strong friend.
Here’s the truth: Being multi-talented isn’t a problem. But believing you have to be everything for everyone will eventually cost you, yourself.
A New Kind of Strength
You don’t have to give up your gifts to reclaim your wholeness.
But you do need to:
Redefine what enough looks like
Let yourself be supported (even if it feels awkward at first)
Prioritize yourself before everything falls apart
This isn’t about doing less because you’re incapable.
It’s about choosing to protect your capacity, so you can continue to show up in ways that matter, without losing yourself in the process.
Want Help Getting Back to You?
That’s exactly why I created Get Out of Your Own Way: Break Free from Fear, Perfection, and Patterns That Keep You Stuck. It’s a 30-day self-guided reset designed for high-functioning women who are secretly exhausted but ready to reconnect with themselves.
This isn’t another productivity planner. This is a reset. One that helps you breathe again. Download your journal now
Ask Coach Joi for a Reset Plan Built Just for You
Coach Joi is an AI-powered breakthrough guide we developed at The Wellness Ark to help women like you reflect, reset, and rise—without guilt, grind, or over-explanation.
Just copy and paste the prompt below here to receive a personalized plan:
Coach Joi, I’m feeling the weight of always being the strong, capable one. I know I’m gifted and I’m grateful—but I’m also running on empty. Can you help me unpack the cost of being the go-to person and provide a Reset Framework to protect my energy and prioritize my own healing, without losing who I am? Please include gentle yet powerful micro-steps that respect my leadership and my limitations.
Cherelle Jeudy is the founder of The Wellness Ark and Rooted + Rising: The Remnant’s Reset—a strategist, wellness writer, wife, and mother of four. She creates tools for high-functioning, purpose-driven women who are tired of burning out in silence. Her work blends clarity, compassion, and conviction to help you reset and rise.
Rooted + Rising is a weekly newsletter for women who were never meant to blend in. Through story, reflection, and practical wisdom, we help the remnant rise: rested and resilient.